Communication

Today's comes from something I sent out to my co-workers today.  I try to send out some sort of inspirational quote or phrase each Friday.  Some work events this week triggered me to take a different tact this time.  Below is what I sent out and I thought it would be good to share with a broader audience.

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Team,

We all get into ruts and routines that we do out of habit.  It’s natural.  However, my team knows that I have to shake things up every once in a while.  It’s what I do to stay fresh and engaged.  <our director> knows me well enough to know that I like to use stories and analogies sometimes to convey a thought or point.  If you want to read this, great.  If not, that’s fine too…  😊  I promise there is a point at the end along with an inspirational video.

This week has reminded me about the value of how you communicate with others for many reasons (not just myself).  Like everything, I have a bit of a back story.  I was born and raised in farm country just outside of Philadelphia.  Back there, even in rural areas, the communication is blunt, direct, and some would even say hostile.  It’s not translated as mean or rude, but just how it is.  Moving to Portland, OR in my mid-twenties (a long time ago), it was a culture shock.  Communication on the west coast is a far cry from the east coast (still is).  I worked in computer software and hardware, where they generally want direct and blunt most of the time, so I fit in well.  However, I struggled with communication in my personal life.  I worked hard at it and slowly got into improving my communication.  I even coached competitive girls soccer for close to twenty years, where blunt and direct get you nowhere fast.  That also taught me a lot about communication.

Honestly, even when I came to Group Health, I was still overwhelming with my communication style.  It’s hard to go from tech where it’s just accepted to healthcare where it scares people.  I did find someone else at GHC, who was born and raised in NYC.  We would slip into our old east coast communication style, and it felt like people in Seattle wanted to hide under their desk thinking we were angry.  We really weren’t at all and got along famously.  However, over the years, I’ve realized through some coaching from <our director>, my managers, and my wife, that I needed to continue to work on it.  I’ve made a lot of progress, but I still slip every once in a while.  And, sometimes <our director> will ask me a direct/blunt question knowing that I’ll give her a direct/blunt answer, which is what she’s looking for.

Even with all of my effort on communication style, I get stressed and I slip up (we all do).  Fortunately, I have a wonderfully supportive team that knows I bring a certain edge to the work, and when I slip they understand.  Some give me advice, etc.  When I slip, I usually apologize and promise to do better and they know I’m not mean spirited and am trying.  It’s part of me that sometimes helps a situation and sometimes does not.

After several different situations this week, I was reminded of something one of my former bosses used to tell me.  “It’s not about what you need to say, but about what they need to hear”.  Translation is that its not about what you say, but how you say it.  We all could do better sometimes.  😊

As I thought about that, I thought about the movie, Miracle, which was about how the US Hockey team beat the odds and defeated Russia (an impossible task at the time) on their way to the Gold Medal.  Even if you don’t know anything about hockey, it’s a good movie about motivation and commitment against all odds.  Kurt Russell plays coach Herb Brooks in the movie.  To say his style was mostly confrontational would pretty much sum things up.  However, right before the game against Russia, he delivers one of the most brilliant pre-game speeches I have ever heard.  It was timed perfectly, and it was exactly what needed to be said at exactly the right time.  Communication is such a critical aspect of our lives, I thought I’d share that clip as this week’s motivation.

Enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdmyoMe4iHM